Life Is What You Make It: How To Appreciate Your Past Mistakes Rather Than Condemn Them

How many times have you wished for a time machine so you can go back in time and change what was? Or, do you find that you constantly beat yourself up for past decisions?

I have heard friends, family and even myself say, “If only…” but life is about learning! I can now say emphatically that everything is exactly as it should be.

There’s a great master plan for each of our lives, and if we learn to embrace what comes, we would be better able to guide ourselves towards fulfillment, peace of mind and success.

There is no right or wrong, good or bad way in life. Each unique moment in time gives us wisdom and grace to deal with our future experiences.

It’s easy to look back with a heart full of regret and even self-loathing after the moment is gone, but the truly courageous thing to do is to find the silver lining in each situation:

What has this experience taught you? What did you gain? How can you make the next (similar) situation work for you? What are some signs that you can look for, so as to avoid making those decisions or perceived mistakes in the future?

I don’t hold the magic elixir to solve anyone’s problems, but with time, comes wisdom and perspective. If we quiet the internal and external “noise,” and reflect deeply on our past and what is important to us at this present moment, we can chart our destiny and watch the answers manifest in our lives.

It’s so strange that when I practice this, the right situations and people appear in my life so as to guide and take me to the next level of my journey without fail.

The power of intent and faith is truly amazing. It’s also important to never lose heart. Someone wise once told me that when you are at your wit’s end and about to give up is the moment your miracle will come and things will turn around. These are definitely words to live by.

Many of us may desperately want to move on from a situation, whether it is a job, place or relationship, but may find it challenging to do so.

During the time it takes to successfully transition, it’s helpful to try to make the most of the situation. The reason why it’s taking so long is probably because you haven’t learned the lessons yet.

A few years ago, I was at that place; I was at my wit’s end desperately searching my being for a revelation, to progress to the next stage in my life.

I remember blogging about it for many years, and bit by bit, I evolved, until one day, when I least expected, I got my breakthrough.

Sometimes, the answers you are looking for doesn’t come right away, but the key is persistence and being in a constant place of preparedness for the next step.

It was only after several months of that chapter being closed, did I realize why my breakthrough was taking so long. I was being prepared for the next step along my challenging journey.

Indeed, all aspects of your life may never be perfect, but the key to healthy and wholesome living and mastering this thing called life, is learning to appreciate and value the good and bad, and take it all in stride.

Everything happens for a reason, and we ought not to underestimate this sometimes cliché statement.

The Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius, first said,

The happiest people don’t have the best of everything, but make the best of everything they have.

If we bear that in mind, we can then appreciate that we hold the key to happiness and success in our hands. It’s all a matter of perspective and conditioning our minds to fulfill our desired outcomes.

Why Gen-Y Needs To Stop Arguing Over The Word ‘Feminism’ And Start Practicing Equality

Growing up, I suppose I more or less always identified as “one of the guys.” In many ways, I strived to epitomize the son my father never had. This soon became an essential part of my identity. At the time, this seemed entirely normal to me.

It wasn’t that I consciously tried to act like the males with whom I hung out. My behaviors were simply natural inclinations for me.

I made friends by playing sports, dressing how I wanted, speaking how I wanted and exploring my childhood. I did so without fear of or regard to gender restrictions, as to me, they didn’t yet exist. I simply knew my identity as my own, without any specific definition.

As I grew older, I realized that a divide exists between men and women, which has developed from our understanding of gender roles. At a certain age, it became inappropriate for me to play sports with the boys as I always had; suddenly, it had to be separate.

Soon, my relationships with males changed, as well. Genuine friendships could be interpreted to possess blurred lines or suggestive undertones.

In my teenage years, girls who hung out with more guys than girls were seen as trying to “market” themselves in a certain way. We had become sexualized beings and were considered more for our romantic or sexual motives than for our independent desires or decisions.

Eventually, I realized that certain jobs were seen as “unfit” for me simply because I am a woman. When I began pursuing journalism, sports-related articles I wrote often earned negative comments from men, who questioned my sports knowledge. Again, solely because I am a woman.

I even dated men who seemed threatened by my need for independence and general rejection of typical machismo.

Suddenly, I became aware of the pressures women face to define themselves and their choices according to gender-biased standards, which had never mattered to me in my childhood. I, along with many other women, choose to reject this archaic ideology.

While this truth inspired me to explore feminism and female empowerment, I found myself at a point of contradiction, much like Emma Watson touched on in her groundbreaking speech for the UN HeForShe Campaign.

While many of us have likely experienced sexist undertones, limitations and stark double standards, we also struggle with social connotations of being “feminist.” Somewhere along the line, “feminism” became an undesirable, misunderstood identification — a loaded concept of sorts.

At one point, when asked if I identify as a feminist, my answer was always “no.” The only reason I can conjure for this was my understanding that feminists are often viewed, as Watson explained, as man-hating, argumentative and bitter toward the male species.

I’m not entirely sure when our understanding of feminism became misconstrued on such a global scale, but many of us have spent years avoiding the word and the movement altogether as a result.

Through this, our generation has developed a group of “inadvertent feminists.” We have been a part of the equality movement this entire time, but not on the forefront, because we were often shifted into submission by the very cultural connotations that contribute to the gender roles we hope to diminish.

Thankfully, many female role models are breaking down the mold that surrounds modern-day feminism. This is groundbreaking, as we are finally embracing what it means to truly advocate for yourself.

The issue isn’t necessarily just changing gender roles, but also eliminating them entirely and being open to having the conversation and identifying however you, personally, want to identify.

In a culture that strives to micro-analyze every possible trend, behavior and belief, we become susceptible to a “this or that” mindset.

We often strive to fit into a particular, accepted mold and place a great deal of importance on the specifics, which apply to the way we view and develop our individual identities, as well.

When it comes to human nature, we must realize that there is no right or wrong; male or female; black or white. Human nature is about being human, regardless of what this may mean to you.

We all have a right to feel and express our natural identities without the fear of cultural misjudgment.

Feminism isn’t about beating men, and it was never meant to be a war; it is about striking a balance that honors men and women to live their lives, free of prejudice. It is a joint effort with joint effect and, as Watson explained, it needs to be an open conversation and movement.

The issue is not whether or not you identify as a feminist; it’s the ability to ask yourself what equality means to you, what you stand for and how you wish to express your identity.

It’s about compassion, fairness, the desire to advocate for yourself and others and the ability to connect in a mutually beneficial movement toward modern equality. It’s about breaking the gender mold altogether.

As a woman, I believe that women should be able to live their lives in a way that is equal to any man. I believe in my sexual, emotional and professional rights and freedom, just as I believe in them for men.

I believe in the need for human expression, connection and an even playing field. I believe in ambition and strength, for both men and women alike.

More importantly, I believe we have the potential to create a world that is no longer defined or controlled by misconstrued gender roles. We are a generation that thrives on change.

With a collective open mind, we can shift from a generation of inadvertent feminists to one that embraces equality and empowerment, regardless of gender identity.

How To Find The ‘Good’ In ‘Goodbye’ And Embrace New Beginnings After Old Endings

A new season is upon us. Though signs of summertime may linger in intermittent humid days and melancholy sunshine, fall has officially begun. It is no coincidence that as the leaves turn and the air chills, we, too, will undergo change.

Autumn offers fresh beginnings and momentous endeavors for young adults: moving to college, the start of school, first days at “real” jobs and opportunities to travel abroad.

New journeys, no matter how exciting, become bittersweet with the realization that we must leave the ones we love, the places we know best and the support that has sheltered us thus far in life.

Some plans are temporary; some are seasonal; some only last for a semester at a time. Others can be more long-term and require keeping in touch when home is no longer a phone call away. Despite the destination, a proper goodbye is always required before departure.

Still, it is difficult to be optimistic in our goodbyes, especially when we know the next hello will not arrive for quite some time. Bidding farewell can evoke sadness, fear, anxiety and loneliness, which are overwhelming emotions that force us to reflect on what we had and what we have lost.

To counter these thoughts, we should focus on what there is to gain from the opportunities that come our way. After all, life tends to present new adventures without forewarning.

When plans arise that take us far from home, we are left with two options: lament over the idea of leaving or welcome the possibilities of going.

I chose the latter. I just arrived in Spain, where I will teach English language and culture for one academic year. I made my rounds and said my goodbyes to my nearest, dearest friends and loved ones. Tears were shed, and I was caught in many long embraces.

Some recent days have been sad and stressful, while others have been normal and without worry. My anxiety about starting a new life in an unfamiliar country for nine months will only truly subside when I choose to acknowledge the unreal experience that is about to begin.

Stepping out of a comfort zone typically feels something like leaping off of a cliff. To counter one’s fear of change, it is of vital importance to imagine positive ends to the trips we will take, the goals we will pursue and the dreams we will chase.

Envisioning goodness, brightness and bountiful blessings can only bring about greatness.

Even in harder times, we can be prepared to fight our demons when armed with fierce optimism. In all seasons of life, a positive perspective provides room to thrive and time to find gratitude.

It is also reassuring to remind yourself of the support system you might have at home. For some, family provides the greatest love and advice imaginable.

Others have created a network of extraordinary friends who offer acceptance and the inspiration a person needs in order to soar.

Many people are lucky enough to have both. I am blessed with individuals in my life who support and motivate me. It is their love that provided me the confidence to begin this journey, and it is their enthusiasm that keeps me going.

I believe I have found the good in my goodbyes. I no longer feel sad or fearful about my adventure. My life in the States is behind me, and the only obligation I now have is to create an authentic experience abroad — one that’s brimming with potential, exceeds limitations and encourages growth.

Through gratitude and optimism, I feel prepared. Most importantly, I feel excited.

To anyone outside of his or her element and to anyone chasing his or her dream, I wish you success on your journey.

To those who might be saying goodbye, take your sadness in stride as you walk toward the beautiful horizon. Each day grants us a chance to move upward or stay rooted in monotony.

The beauty of it all is that our adventures must always begin within us, not on a trip, in a new job or at a new school. Let your joy bloom, even in seasons of change, because what is to come will always be greater than what is here today.

Why You Must Know Your Self-Worth To Realize What You Truly Deserve

The perception of our self-worth is a driving force in almost every life situation. I believe so many people either give themselves too much credit or not enough when it comes to acknowledging their self-worth.

Rarely do we see people who truly understand and acknowledge the strengths, weaknesses, faults and flaws that make them exactly who they are.

Knowing your self-worth and “what you bring to the table” is incredibly vital in relationships, jobs, friendships and life in general.

We are constantly growing and maturing. How I acted and perceived other people a year ago is nowhere near how I view the world now.

I understand the whole “don’t care what other people think” concept, but it’s important to listen to what others have to say without their opinions 100 percent dictating how you live your life.

Not caring what other people think should matter when it comes to things like who your friends are, which hobbies you enjoy or how you want to dress.

However, if a lot of people say you’re not that great of a person, well, chances are… they’re right. Let’s discuss those who give themselves too much credit — or the “breadsticks made of bullsh*t people.” As human beings, it’s extremely important to have confidence in yourself at all times.

It’s difficult to bridge the gap between how we view ourselves and how others view us. However, there is nothing attractive or admirable about someone who feels deserving of the world, when in reality, he or she has done nothing to contribute to the world.

Some people treat others poorly but feel deserving of respect and recognition.

Well, I feel there are only two reasons why people give themselves too much credit: 1) They know the truth about who they are, but try to fool others, or 2) they are flat-out ignorant and truly believe in the qualities they fabricated about themselves and their images.

They blame their struggles — or lack of respect — on outside sources, rather than how they carry and conduct themselves.

These people will eventually realize that whom they believe themselves to be isn’t exactly what everyone else sees. For some people, it will click almost instantly, but for others, it will take repetitive gusts of wind to knock them from their pedestals.

Then, there are the people who, unfortunately, don’t give themselves enough credit. These people have lower self-esteem, don’t believe in their abilities and talents and are, usually, afraid to step out of their comfort zones.

The problem with these types of people is that they don’t realize what they deserve in life. They settle for significant others who treat them poorly and with no respect because they feel like no one else would supply any interest.

The select few people who are true to themselves are the ones who get what they want and what they deserve. It’s the fine line of being simultaneously confident and humble.

The keyword here is “true.” It’s much better to be hated for being truthful than to be liked for telling a falsehood.

For example, I would respect someone much more who owns being a complete jerk than someone who wears a mask and then takes it off, eventually showing his or her true colors.

Learning your self-worth is something that takes time. Also, just because you know your self-worth doesn’t necessarily mean you believe it or believe you deserve the same from someone else.

As I said before, we are constantly growing, and our perceptions on life, people, humanity and relationships can change.

It’s all about taking a step back before sitting down, tucking in your napkin and realizing what meal you brought to the bountiful dinner table that we call life.

These Starbucks Ads Prove Texting Will Never Beat Real Life Interactions (Video)

TV • GILLIAN FULLER • SEP 24, 2014 - 4:49PM

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For most people, commercial breaks are used as time to do something else — get up and go to the bathroom, refill your bowl of ice cream or anything — anything — that will distract from the TV until the show comes back on. Because commercials, for the most part, are so boring.

However, coffee giant Starbucks created a series of commercials that are both clever and (dare I say?) a little bit inspiring. The trio of ads represents a collective campaign against communication via technology.

The screen first features a standard iPhone text messaging screen with two people texting. Actors read the text at the same time, and little is given away about the context of the situation, until the text disappears and the conversation blossoms.

In each instance, someone sparks the conversation with a remark they wouldn’t be able to make if the people weren’t face-to-face, such as “I know that look!” or “You’re blushing.”

Though the ads aren’t likely to change the way our generation communicates, they do pose an interesting and legitimate point: Nothing can replace good ol’ one-on-one time.

The Apology:

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The Date:

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The Kick:

H/T: Adweek, Photo Courtesy: We Heart It

Spilling The Beans: Why Coffee Is Actually Slowing You Down Instead Of Speeding You Up

Most of us need a jolt of caffeine to start our days and for good reason: Drinking caffeine makes us feel more alert and improves our moods.

Some studies even suggest that in the short-term, caffeine can improve our cognitive performance in both memory and attention span tasks.

Why is it, though, that the best things in life always come at a price? You can’t get high without coming down — and that’s the case with everyone’s favorite cup of mental stability: coffee.

New research from Johns Hopkins Medical School shows that performance increases from caffeine intake are the result of caffeine consumers’ short-term caffeine-withdrawal experience.

In other words, caffeine-related performance improvement is reliant upon caffeine withdrawal. To answer the existential question: You can’t have the good without the bad.

Johns Hopkins researchers controlled for caffeine consumption in their subjects.  They found that coming down from caffeine reduces your cognitive performance and negatively impacts your mood.

In order to get back to “normal” (or to a baseline), you probably feel the need to drink more caffeine — which you’re hoping will give you that high again — but all that caffeine is just restoring your performance back to normal for a short period. You may think you’re high, but you’re not.

Caffeine is actually slowing you down instead of speeding you up, which explains why we feel withdrawal symptoms when we try to cut back. And why we feel like punching people in the face without our ritual morning cup of coffee.

It also triggers the release of adrenaline, which puts your brain and body into a hyper-aroused state. During this time, it’s hard to control your emotions. The caffeine intake can cause irritability and anxiety by enabling your emotions to overpower your behaviors.

Want more good news? Caffeine messes up your sleep cycle, makes it harder to fall asleep and has a six hour half-life.

That means there’s still 25 percent of the caffeine leftover in your body at 8 pm from your early morning 8 am cup of coffee; anything you drink after noon will still contain about 50 percent of its strength at bedtime.

When you do finally score some shuteye, it’s not going to be of any help (sorry). Caffeine reduces rapid eye movement (REM) sleep, the deep sleep that allows your body to recover and process.

When caffeine disturbs this restful sleep, you wake up with a handicap, leaving you more inclined to grab another cup of coffee. And just like that, you’re hooked.

So you think you’re doing right for your body, yet you’re really setting yourself back. Forget alcohol, blame it on the coffee.

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Here are the 12 times your coffee actually didn’t help you. It all makes sense now.

1. When you had to sh*t immediately after.

2. When you bugged out at your desk about all the work you still had left to do.

3. When you couldn’t get out of bed the next morning.

4. When you tweaked at the person walking too slowly coming out of the subway.

5. When you were unbelievably shaky while holding your baby cousin for the first time.

6. When you got heart palpitations on the treadmill.

7. When you panicked right before an interview.

8. When you had an after-dinner drink and were up all night watching TBS reruns.

9. When you felt like a crackhead, but hadn’t done drugs since college.

10. When you got inexplicably angry over losing your favorite pen.

11. When you were meeting your partner’s parents for the first time and couldn’t stop talking.

12. When you needed another cup.

Sagada: This Mountain Town Will Show You Why Cliffs And Caves Are Better Than Beaches

One of the places you can visit when you head up north in Luzon is Sagada, a small town located in the province of Mountain Province that’s about 275 kilometers (171 miles) north of Manila.

From the zigzagging roads to the breathtaking mountain landscapes you’ll see on the way, the journey to Sagada alone is already an adventure.

If you’re seeking cool weather, adventure, culture, and plenty of nature, Sagada is the perfect gateway. For those who are tired of the usual Baguio summer vacation, Sagada is an excellent alternative option.

Things to Do in Sagada

If you find yourself planning for a trip to visit “Mountain Province’s Pride,” here’s a list of places you should make sure to visit.

Hanging CoffinsStaunton Rd., Sagada, Mountain Province, Philippines

The Hanging Coffins in Sagada are a sight to behold, and is one of its main attractions. Not to be macabre, the hanging coffins show the unique culture of the Philippines’ mountain ethnic groups.

Hanging Coffins, Sagada by Gino Mempin

The people of Sagada believe that a person’s burial ground is determined by the cause of his or her death. People who reach a ripe old age when they died were given the honor of burial in the cliff of the hanging coffins. People who suffered from unnatural causes of death such as disease, accidents, or murders are buried in Calvary Hill. Coffins hang off the cliff because the people of Sagada also believe that it brings one closer to heaven and their gods.

Cave ConnectionLumiang and Sumaguing Caves
Sagada, Mountain Province, Philippines

The cave connection connects two caves: the Lumiang and Sumaguing Cave. Lumiang Cave is unique because its entrance is lined with coffins. The entrance of the cave served as a burial site for the indigenous groups living in the area. The cave connection is the perfect thrill ride for the adventurous at heart, one misstep and you will fall into a crevice inside the cave. If the guide tells you to step on any part of his body, you better do it… it may actually save your life.

Sumaguing Cave, Sagada by jaya on flickr

The cave connection takes you through the breathtaking system hidden under Sagada. The gem of the cave connection is Sumaguing Cave. You will see many formations (formed for thousands of years) that take on different shapes and sizes. From towers to chandeliers to cakes, the caves in Sagada are worth the visit. The Cave Connection takes approximately 4 hours, depending on the pace of your group.

Kiltepan PeakKiltepan Rd., Sagada, Mountain Province, Philippines

A trip up Kiltepan Peak rewards visitors with breathtaking views of Sagada’s landscape.

Sunrise at Kiltepan Peak by Arlene on flickr

The sea of clouds slowly moving over the landscape is picturesque. The best time to go to the peak is during sunrise, where the sun’s rays wrap the landscape with its golden light.

Bomod-Ok FallsPide, Sagada, Mountain Province, Philippines

The most visited waterfall in Sagada is Bomod-Ok. The falls drop several meters down into a pool where visitors can swim in after a tiring 4.2 kilometer (2.6 miles) trek through rice fields. Make sure to bring your cameras with you as you’ll be seeing the beautiful Fidelisan Rice Terraces.

Fidelisan Rice Terraces, Sagada from enroutethechroniclesofawayfarer.blogspot.com

After about 1 to 2 hours of trekking, you will reach Bomod-Ok Falls. Its height of 200 feet combined with its mountainous landscape and surrounding jagged rocks make it a great spot for nature lovers.

Bomod-Ok Falls, Sagada by jaya on flickr

Pongas FallsBauko, Sagada, Mountain Province, Philippines

For those looking for more adventure, Pongas Falls is another noteworthy destination while in Sagada. Although not as popular as Bomod-Ok falls, its hidden wonder is nothing short of majestic.

Pongas Falls, Sagada by Theofrenz Cayambas

The trek to Pongas Falls takes visitors through local villages, a hanging bridge, rice fields, streams, and breathtaking views of Sagada’s mountains.

Sagada Lemon Pie HouseSouth Rd., Sagada, Mountain Province, Philippines

Lemon Pie from Sagada Lemon Pie House from Yvette M.’s looloo review

You can’t leave Sagada without tasting its scrumptious lemon pie. This tangy dessert is the perfect remedy to a tired day of trekking, caving, or hiking. Take some home to enjoy with friends or family. You can buy a slice or box of lemon pie in Sagada’s Lemon Pie House.

How to Get to Sagada

The most popular route to get to Sagada is via Baguio.

Via Baguio

Ride a Victory Liner Bus for ₱460 from their Pasay or Cubao station; the trip lasts for 6 to 8 hours. There is a bus that leaves every hour.

Once you get to Baguio, ride a cab to Dangwa Bus Station. Look for the Lizardo Transit Station, and purchase a ticket for ₱220; the trip takes 6 to 7 hours. The first bus leaves at 6:30 AM and the last bus leaves at 1:00 PM.

Via Banaue

There is only one bus company, Ohayami, which travels from Manila to Banaue. There is only one trip per day during the entire year, except during peak season wherein a second trip leaves Manila. The bus leaves its Sampaloc, Manila station at 10 PM and at 9 PM during peak season. The bus fare is approximately ₱470 one way and lasts for approximately 9 hours.

Once in Banaue, ride an Immanuel Bus Line to Bontoc for approximately ₱100 and alight at the Bontoc Municipal Hall. Once in the municipal hall, ride a jeep bound for Sagada for approximately ₱35.

Where to Stay in Sagada

There are plenty of inns and affordable guesthouses scattered throughout Sagada.

One of the places you can stay in is Residential Lodge. Since the weather is cold in Sagada, you won’t have to use an electric fan or air conditioning. Residential Lodge offers rooms for ₱250/head/night for a room with common bath and toilet. You can get a room for ₱300/head/night with private bath and toilet. You can contact Residential Lodge through +63 919 672 8744 or +63 929 625 7419.

Alternatively, you can stay in Rock Inn & Café while in Sagada. The inn offers bunk rooms good for 6 to 8 persons for ₱450/head. There are mini executive and executive rooms that can accommodate 3 to 4 people for ₱1,500 to ₱1,800 per night. You can contact Rock Inn & Café through therock_sagada@yahoo.com.ph or info@rockfarmsagada.com and +63 928 213 1149 or +63 905 554 5950.